iDo One Shots
by Moviepal
Summary: One shots of ideas in my head for stories. Let me know what you think of the stories and if you want them to become Chapter stories
1. The Courtship Of Nathan's Father

The Courtship Of Nathan's Father

The following story is loosely based on the book, movie and T.V. show

"The Courtship Of Eddie's Father"

It had been almost ten years since Sam had been in Seattle, and so much had changed. She smiled as she drove past the Groovy Smoothie. Those were some good times. That was before real life slapped her in the face.

She'd dated Freddie for almost a year in college. They had been very happy then. She knew he loved her and that she loved him. They were headed for the "happily ever after when the whole world blew up in her face.

While Freddie was at work one night, Sam went out to eat and ran into Gordon Willis, a guy from one of her classes. They talked and had a few drinks and then they went back to the apartment she and Freddie shared. She never understood why she let it happen, but she ended up in bed with him.

She didn't see him when he came in, but Gordon did and started to laugh as he walked in.

Here she was on top of Gordon and Freddie just stood there. She heard him sniffle and jerked her head around to see him crying.

He never said a word; he just walked out and never came back.

"Hey bitch, we're not done yet," Gordon shouted at her.

"Yes we are nutsack, I just lost my whole world and you're the cause of it!"

"I think you had a hand in it to baby," he said and grabbed her by the arms and shoved her down on the bed, "You little cocktease, I'm not done yet.

He would end up rapeing her twice and beating her up. She didn't try to defend herself at all. In the back of her mind she thought she deserved it for what she had done to Freddie.

After she went to the hospital and talked to the police, Gordon was arrested and then released on bail. The next day Gordon was found in the quad with the shit kicked out of him and the words "rapist" written on him. They never caught the person responsible for it.

Freddie transferred to another school and left everything he had at the apartment. She spent years looking for Freddie, but he just dropped off the face of the earth.

She got married three years ago to Brian Thompson. Everything seemed to be going good. Freddie was always lurking somewhere in her heart and mind, but she really tried with Brian. That is till she came home early one day and found Brian and Steve in bed. She thought it was so ironic that she walked in to the exact same scene that Freddie did.

That was one and half years ago and one divorce ago. Her friends tried to get her to go out, even going so far as to set her up, but she never did. Freddie loomed large in her mind and heart.

She pulled into the Bushwell apartment parking lot and got out of the car and started to walk in. She had decided Two weeks ago to move back to Seattle and start fresh. Carly had told her that Miss Benson had moved and her apartment was up for rent.

Sam knocked on the door and waited. Carly opened the door and squealed, "Oh my God Sam, I've missed you."

"Same Here Carlotta," Sam smiled back.

The two old friends went to the manager right away and signed the lease of the apartment and went to lunch.

They talked about everything but Freddie. They both tiptoed around the subject. Finally Sam brought him up.

"Ever hear anything about Freddie?"

"Not one peep," Carly answered.

"God Carly, I miss him so much, Sam begins to say, "What the hell was I thinking even talking to Gordon much less sleeping with him?"

"I'm sorry Sam, but that's spilled milk now. We need to go to the park and talk; it was always a place that made you happy."

"Sure Carly, let's go."

When they get to the park they sit on a bench and just talk and laughed. Sam began to smile a little more and relax.

As they talked a big yellow softball came rolling up as a very small boy, maybe three year old tops, came running after it. His cap was two sizes too big and the mit he wore looked to be larger than he was. He was laughing and reaches the ball that had now stopped at Sam's feet.

"Cuse me pretty wady, I need to get my ball. I hope it not hurt wou," the charming little man said.

"No sweetie, I'm fine," Sam said as she smiled at him, "That's a very nice ball you have there."

"Thank wou,"he said, "My dude got it for me."

Sam smiled and asked, "Your "dude?"

"My daddy, he's better than a dad, he's a dude!

Sam and Carly both smiled at this remark. The young man had dark brown hair and big brown eyes and both women thought he looked like Freddie.

"Well, big guy, what's your name?" Sam asked.

"Nathan, Nathan…"

"Hey Nate you get lost dude?" came a voice from the past.

Sam and Carly just stared as they saw Freddie walk up to the boy and pick him up.

"Freddie?" they both said at the same time.

"Hello ladies," he said as if nothing had happened, as if he hadn't just vanished for ten years, "I see you've met Nathan, my son."

They both looked from him to the boy (and checked the ring finger, he had one) and spoke almost at the same time, "he's precious Freddie. He looks just like you."

"No he's really cute and handsome, I'm not," Freddie smiled at his son.

"You and your wife live around here?" Sam asked.

"Nate and I do, Noel died a year and a half ago," he said quietly.

"I'm so sorry Freddie, what happened?" Carly asked.

"Cancer, it was very sudden and quick," he stated.

"I'm so sorry. You've lived here all these years and never called me?" Carly asked.

"Oh no, we just moved here four days ago. I've been finishing up from the move and spending time with Nate till I start work on Monday. We opened a new office here and I came to run it."

"Who do you work for?" Sam finally waded into the conversation.

"Myself, I own "Sat Tel" the software company," he told them.

"Isn't based in France?" Sam asked.

"Yep, I went to France for collage and met Noel and we started the company together. After she died I just couldn't stay there anymore, it hurt too much."

"I'm so sorry for your loss Freddie," Sam told him.

"Well you know, life doesn't always give you what you want," he said looking her in the eyes, "but you take it as it comes. You just trust in God and know you get what you need. The three years Noel and I had were worth the pain, besides I got Nathan out of the deal. He saved my life. I couldn't crawl into a bottle because I had him."

Nathan had laid his head down on his "dudes" shoulder and was fast asleep.

"So what about you two, what's up?"

"Divorced," was all Sam said.

"Still looking," Carly threw in.

"Well then some guys somewhere are blind, because you both look great," Freddie smiled.

"Thank you," Carly said.

"Thanks Freddie and you look great, well maybe a little thin, but good," Sam smiled.

"I get the thin a lot,' he smiled.

"Listen, let's have dinner together, tonight," Carly suggested.

"Ok, mind if Nate tags along?" Freddie asked.

"Sure, then we'll have two good looking men with us at dinner," Sam said as she touched the sleeping boys back.

"Ok, say six-thirty then?" Freddie said.

"Good we'll meet at the Bushwell then."

As he walked away Sam felt something inside her that she thought she had lost.

"Sam, SAM," Carly called her out of the trance she had fallen into.

"A little less drool, and put your eyes back in your head. We need to go get ready."

"He looked really good, didn't he Carly?" Sam said.

"Yes and his son is so sweet. Sam you've got that look in your eye," Carly complained.

"Just wondering."

The dinner went well and Nathan was the star. They talked for hours catching up. They then went back to Carly's apartment and Nathan curled up in his father's lap and fell asleep.

'I need to go; little man has pooped out on me. This has been fun."

"Let's do it again, soon," Carly suggested.

"Sure he said, but please don't be trying to set me up on dates Carly, I'm not ready for that," He told her.

"You mean you think I would…"

"Yes, and don't.

"Good night, Sam," he said and gave her a big hug.

She felt a warmth and static charge from his touch even after all these years. She breathed in his scent and long to kiss him, but she knew this wasn't the time or place. 'God I was so stupid! I let him slip away from me and now it may be too late.'

After he left Carly smiled at Sam.

"Carly, now you're the one with a gleam in her eye. Hell are you planning, Sam asked.

"It's going to take some time and a few bad ones, but we're going to get Nathan a new mom. A blonde, blue eyed one," Carly smiled.

My First one shot. It's one of many things floating around in my head. Let me know if you think I need to make a chapter story out of it.


	2. When You Say Nothing At All

When You Say Nothing At All

Samantha Puckett was tired. Court had run over and then the jury had asked for a transcript of the victim's statement. She knew that could be bad for her case. She hoped that wouldn't cost her the conviction she wanted.

She pulled into the drive way of their house and got out. Three small figures lurked in the bushes and she smiled.

"Oh dear me," she stated loud for effect, "I do hope nothing jumps out and scares me!"

She could hear the tittering of little voices and it was all she could do not to laugh. No matter how many times they did this to her, she loved it.

"BOO!" her three children shouted in unison and laughing.

"Ah, help daddy the monsters are going to eat me," she said.

The front door opened and Freddie rushed out with lightsaber in hand, "I'll save you my queen. Back you fowl demons of the night, back I say."

He took her in his arms and waved the lightsaber around once or twice and then picked her up and took her inside.

"So what time does the monster "eat me", she laughed and raised her eye brows.

"Just as soon as the monsters go to bed," Freddie said as he kissed her.

Spencer aged five, Carla aged three, and John aged two came in behind them and laughed at momma and daddy kissing.

"Ewe," Spencer said making a face, "you guys are going to give each other germs.

"Or maybe another little sister or brother," Sam whispered to Freddie.

"Ok troop, time to wash up for dinner," he told is brood.

"Yes sir," they all said at once.

"So daddy," Sam asked, "what's for Dinner?"

"A very tender roast, potatoes and carrots, green beans, and yellow cake for desert."

"Mmmm…, are you married sir?" she asked.

"Yes, but she's such a battle ax that I'll go home with you if you want," Freddie laughed.

"You'll pay for that later mister," Sam laughed.

She loved their life. Freddie created software for multi-national corporations with the company he started, and earned well over a seven figure salary. They live modestly, in a nice house, not a mansion. Since he worked from home, he took care of the kids and house. He had pushed kicking and screaming through collage and then through law school. She was glad he did though, because she loved being a lawyer. They actually payed her to argue with people. The best gift Freddie ever gave her was the kids. She had never known such pure joy and love in her life.

She washed up and changed into sweats and the over sized "Hard To Die" tee-shirt that she took from Freddie. She would make him wear it once a month for a day so that it always smelled of him. She stopped at the kitchen door and looked at her family. She felt a lump in her throat as she stared.

Freddie had made every dream she ever had come true. And as much as she loved hearing him say he loved her, it was when he said nothing at all that stoked the fire in her veins. The way he played with the kids was sexy. He was the only father on the street that would run head long with abandon with cap pistols and make shooting noises with the kids. All the kids on the street came to play here with "Mr. B" and she knew he had no idea how special that and he was.

He would rub her feet while she was reading on a case; no words just start rubbing them, or massage her shoulders and back. He could look at her and she sometimes felt like she would have an orgasm, and he had on more than one occasion done that with his kisses. He could make her blush at anytime, and his touch was a drug she had become addicted to. He was always there when needed and knew when to back off. The one thing above it all, the thing that had made her fall head over heels for him, was he was stable and he kept her safe. As long as he was around her she knew he would keep her and their kids safe. In her whole life she had never known that kind of love or support. He would always pick her up if she fell on her ass, dust her off and send her back out. He made her stop running and made her face the things that scare her the most. She was running when they met, and she tried to run when they fell in love, but he wouldn't let her and she thanked God every day that he made her stay and take the risk of letting her walls down.

She just stood for a minute and marveled at the way Freddie had opened her up and filled her up.

He looked up at her staring at him and raised one eyebrow and smiled like the cat that ate the canary. He knew what it did and he used it for effect.

Oh yes, momma is getting lucky tonight.


	3. CYPK

C.Y.P.K.

Sam and Freddie were always quite the couple. They balanced each other out, if you know what I mean. Together they could do anything, apart the sucked big time. As much as she never wanted to admit it, Freddie was the power for the two. He was quiet and reserved and only waded into a problem when he saw that Sam was in over her head. He controlled by letting her think she had control.

Well enough of that stuff! You want to hear a story about them I can tell. Set your way back machine to the second year of collage and learn the secret of C.Y.P.K.

The summer had come and gone and the air began to have a little chill to it. The fall session had begun. Sam and Freddie had gotten themselves a small one bedroom apartment near the campus and moved in together. Let's look in on the happy couple shall we?

"Damn it Sam," Freddie yelled, "Can't you at least try to put the cloths in the hamper?"

"Oh blow it out your ass dork," Sam yelled back.

They stood in tiny hallway of the apartment, Freddie in a pair of sweatpants and Sam in his tee-shirt which hung down to her knees. This was the Saturday morning pre- breakfast sex foreplay. They both knew it and it never mattered what they fought about so long as they did fight and get good and worked up. Sam would always say, "The pre-breakfast sex is the most important sex of the day, it sets the tone for the day."

A few more insults are hurled at each other and then the love making begins. This is the one area that the two of them could teach a masters class in. Sam has always said that when it came to love making, Freddie is the king. They are like fine thoroughbreds who know how to run and do so quite well.

The one failing they had as a couple was emotions. Freddie showed too much and Sam too little. Freddie liked the Public Displays of Affection; Sam would rather have tofu at every meal than to do those. Freddie finally came up with a way around this problem that suited both their needs.

C

Y

P

K

It could be found everywhere in their lives. Walking, texting, cars, planes, and anywhere they went. It was at their wedding, Christmas, birthdays, at all five children's births, and everyday life. They never told what it was or meant, and for the fifty-six years they were married, not one day went by that it didn't appear somewhere.

When Freddie died at eighty-one it was there at his funeral. One month later it was there at Sam's funeral and even on their tombstone.

C

Y

P

K

Their children found the paper that it had been born on among the things in their house.

Dear Sam,

I know how you hate the mussy stuff and all the things that go into

Public

Displays

Of

Affection

So I came up with this acronym for the way I have always felt about and the way you can tell me in public how you feel about me:

Consider

Yourself

Passionately

Kissed!

C.Y.P.K.

Love, The Dork


	4. My happy Place

My Happy Place By Samantha Benson

Have you ever been so mad or upset that someone has told you that you need to go to your happy place? You know that place that you're supposed to think of that makes you calm and happy and peaceful. Everyone has one, I'm told, and I'd like to tell you about mine.

I found it the first week of collage, when my future husband and I moved into a small apartment off campus. He likes to sleep in sweats and I like to sleep in his tee-shirts, so he's bare chested at night. I'm not one for frilly things or girly-girl stuff, but I love a hairy chest on a man. I may be alone on this, but damn it's sexy. Freddie is truly a man; let me tell you, he has quite the hairy chest. Mmmm… Uh… Oh, sorry lost in thought.

Anyway, my happy place is in the middle of his chest over his heart. I lay my head there every night and breathe in his scent and run my fingers through his chest hair.

The world goes away when I'm there. Problems melt away and peace flows through me. He will always put his arms around me and I know that at that moment, the universe is in phase and all's right with the world. I know I'm safe and I'm loved and that I'll never have to worry about him leaving me or hurting me. Those are very important things to me.

My childhood wasn't the best. A drunken junkie for a dad, who beat my mom and sister and me. He molested me till he finally just left the house and disappeared off the face of the earth. Freddie will never do that to me. In collage, some clown was trying to feel me up at a party and had me pushed into a corner. Now I can take care of myself, but I don't have to, because protects me. He had that guy squealing like a little girl before it was over!

My happy place has sustained me through many things over the years:

The death of my mom

The day Carly moved away

The day I miscarried our first child

And many others.

I have a favorite photo of Freddie and our daughter. She was born eighteen months after our twin boys. She was six months old and Freddie had her with him in his recliner and she was laid out in the happy place with daddy's arms around her and they were both asleep. Till the day I die that image will be burned in my brain. It was so sweet and pure that I had the picture blown up and framed to put in our room. He's everything my father wasn't and I still can't believe that he loves me so much.

Well I know you have other stories to read and hear, but thanks for stopping by.


	5. You Don't Know Me

You Don't Know Me

A/N: The events of iOMG and after never happened in this story..

You give your hand to me  
>Then you say hello<br>I can hardly speak  
>My heart is beating so<br>And anyone can tell  
>You think you know me well<br>But you don't know me

Freddie knew this day would come, but it still didn't make it any easier. His face didn't betray the heartbreak and depression that had set up home in his heart for the past two years. He smiled at her and told her how beautiful she looked. She smiled back, the brilliance of her smile lit the room and caused his heart to melt. He wasn't sure when it happened, but he had fallen in love with Sam sometime ago. He knew she didn't think of him in that way and he had kept his mouth shut, so as not to embarrass himself.

No, you don't know the one  
>Who dreams of you at night<br>And longs to kiss your lips  
>And longs to hold you tight<br>Oh I'm just a friend  
>That's all I've ever been<br>'Cause you don't know me

Sam picked up her bouquet and let out a little sequel of delight. Freddie had never seen her so happy or so beautiful in his whole life. Carly opened the door and stuck her head in, "Sam, it's time."

Freddie wanted to fall to his knees when she said that. It reminded him that he was losing her for good, that Brad would be the man who would kiss her, hold her, and make love to her, not him. Sam had asked Freddie to walk her down the aisle since she didn't have a father to do it for her. He had smiled and agreed to do so and then spent the night alone in the dark crying.

I never knew  
>The art of making love<br>Though my heart aches  
>With love for you<br>Afraid and shy  
>I've let my chance to go by<br>The chance that you might  
>Love me, too<p>

She took his arm just as the music started to play. She leaned over and kissed his cheek, "Thanks Freddie, for doing this. Your one of my best friend and it means a lot to me to have you walk me down the aisle."

"Anything for you princess," he plastered a fake smile on his face. He knew she loved Brad and that Brad loved her and as long as she was happy, he would find some way to get over it or at least never show her how he really felt.

"It's showtime," he smiled and nodded as the ushers opened the doors for them.

You give your hand to me  
>And then you say good-bye<br>I watch you walk away  
>Beside the lucky guy<br>You'll never never know  
>The one who loves you so<br>Well, you don't know me

Freddie stood with the other guest, birdseed in hand, as Sam and Brad emerged from the church. They ran through a hail of birdseed toward their car. They stopped and waved and then got in and drove off. As the guest began to walk back inside Freddie stood still, watching till he could no longer see the car.

He was alone outside now and as one tear rolled down his face he said in a very sad and low voice, "Good bye Samantha, I'll always love you princess."

He spun on his heels and began to walk to his car. He wasn't going home, in fact he had no idea where he was going, he was just going to drive.

You give your hand to me, baby  
>Then you say good-bye<br>I watch you walk away  
>Beside the lucky guy<br>No, no, you'll never ever know  
>The one who loves you so<br>Well, you don't know me

I heard this song today and this story popped into my head. It kept trying to work its way into "Moon Dust" where it didn't belong, so I had to write it to get it out of my head. Hope you like and as always, let me know what you think.


	6. I'm Feeling You

I'm Feeling You

A/N: I've got to stop listening to the radio. I heard this song and again this story popped into my brain and refuses to leave. So this is its evection notice. I really do think that this song is Seddie orientated.

Sam was furious at Freddie. He was five minutes late and she was now soaked to the bone in the cold Seattle rain. She scanned both ways down the street looking for his car. She planned to give him three kinds of hell for keeping her waiting.

"Heard on the radio that they had some big accident about three blocks down from here," the older man standing beside her said out loud, "said that at least one person died. Happened over on Crain Dr. off of Frasier St., big mess they say."

'Great that was the way Freddie was coming from,' Sam thought to herself. She tapped her foot and then walked back inside office building and jerked her phone out and dialed Freddie's number. It went straight to voice mail. She huffed and began to tap her foot. "Big accident … one person died…" It kept turning over and over in her mind. The image Freddie, in a dark blue suit, standing in the hall of her dorm room, with three of the geekest guys she had ever seen, singing some lame seventies Carpenters song, "We've only just begun", off key and constantly looking down at the paper with the lyrics on it, making a complete fool of himself and not caring one bit. When the song ended he had walked up to her, she was in sweats and his tee-shirt, and dropped to one knee and asked her to marry him. She was beyond embarrassed, her face red and for some reason she never understood, she was crying. She was also shocked at herself, because she couldn't think of anything better than spending a lifetime with this beautifully, wonderfully, caring nerd. She said yes and then slapped him for embarrassing her. She then kissed him furiously as she pulled him into her room and ran her roommate out, not that Carly minded very much. Some people are born great and some people have greatness thrust upon them, but Sam had greatness thrust in her that night. It turned out that Freddie was very gifted in the art of making love, of course she had nothing to compare it to, but she was well pleased.

Sometimes I imagine the world without you  
>But most time I'm just so happy that I ever found you<br>Its a complicated web  
>That you weave inside my head<br>So much pleasure with such pain  
>We always always stay the same<p>

They argued over the great and the small, but never with any real malice toward each other. To the outside world they looked like and were a bad match, but alone, away from the world they were perfect. They made up for what the other lacked and found balance together. Sam had never been much for romantic gestures, but Freddie had worn her down over the years and she found the small things he did for her made her happier than any huge gesture ever could. She was forever finding notes in her lunch from him, one rose would find its way to her office every week, text messages with notes of love, and the million and one things that he did besides those. At some point she had stopped taking them for granted and relished the tiny things that other women said their husbands and boyfriends never did for them.

I'm feeling the way you cross my mind  
>And you save me in the nick of time<br>I'm riding the highs I'm digging the lows  
>Cuz at least I feel alive<br>I never faced so many emotional days  
>But my life is good I'm feeling you<br>I'm feeling you

She felt special being with Freddie. He reminded her all the time that she was special and she knew she was because of him.

It had happened the third week of their marriage, the incident that forever changed how she looked and felt about Freddie. It was the night she knew once and for all that she could never find anyone who could possible love her as much as he did.

Sam's mom had been trying for years to stop drinking, she really had, but on the Wednesday of their third week of marriage, Pam fell off the wagon hard. So hard in fact that she ended up in the hospital after taking a brutal beating from some guy she had hooked up with for the drinks. Freddie answered the phone when the hospital called and went to pick up Pam and already had her back at their apartment before Sam got home. He filled her in on what had happened and spent the better part of a week helping nurse Pam back to health. Sam had almost fallen apart over her mother's injuries, but Freddie helped both mother and daughter through. He then took Pam once a week to AA meetings and Sam to Al-anon meetings. Her mother had been sober for six years now and had become a huge part of Sam's life now. He never said anything about it, he just did it.

You go and then I can finally breath in  
>Cuz baby I know in the end you're never leaving<br>Well we rarely ever sane  
>I drive you crazy and you do the same<br>But your fire fills my soul  
>And it warms me up like no one knows<p>

She tried again to call him and again it went straight to voice mail.

"Big accident… one person died…"

It kept playing over and over in her mind, "Big accident…one person died…" she tried again, and again it went straight to voice mail. Freddie was never late…, NEVER LATE…, she tried again, this time a little more frantic than the others, but with the same result. Suddenly the walls seemed to close in on her and she felt a dread in the pit of her stomach. Somewhere along the way she had come to need Freddie just to live. She needed the small things that he did for her and she needed to see those brown eyes that couldn't lie to her, that she couldn't lie too, that made her want to all kind of naughty things to him and have him do the same to her when she stared into them. The hard shell that was Sam would crack without the warmth and love that Freddie gave to her.

"Damn it Freddie answer," she choked out as she tried again to call him. VOICE MAIL, STRAIGHT TO VOICE MAIL!

Sam pushed out the door, driving three people standing in front of it out into the rain, and began to run toward Crain Dr. as fast as she could. She pushed people out of the way or she just ran them over, but she didn't stop, couldn't stop, and wouldn't stop.

She got to the street and saw police and ambulances everywhere. Firemen were standing near a burned out car. Sam's heart stopped, it was their car, their BURNT OUT CAR! There were two other cars, one in front and one in back, all burnt.

"I've never seen anything like it," she heard the fireman say, "dude just reached in, fire and all and jerked that woman out of the car and reached back and grabbed her baby."

Freddie, it had to be Freddie, Sam just knew it, and yelled at them "The man, the one who pulled the woman and the baby out of the car, what happened to him?" she begged.

"In the ambulance over by the police car," the firemen pointed.

Sam ran around to the back of the ambulance and heard a voice that she knew so well, "I just need to call my wife, she'll kill me if I leave her standing in the rain for too long," Freddie's voice sounded worried, about her more than anything.

I'm feeling the way you cross my mind  
>And you save me in the nick of time<br>I'm riding the highs I'm digging the lows  
>Cuz at least I feel alive<br>I never faced so many emotional days  
>But my life is good I'm feeling you<br>I'm feeling you

"I think she'll let it slide this one time," Sam stepped around the corner and saw Freddie, his hands wrapped in gauze, and his hair slightly singed, sitting in the back of the ambulance. He stood and pulled her to him, "Baby, you're soaked," he said as he removed the blanket that was around him and placed it over her, "We got to get you home and into a hot bath and dry cloths. By the way baby, we're going to need a new car."

Sam laughed and cried at the same time as she gently kissed the most amazing man she had ever met, the man who loved her.

Now that that is over I can get back to "Moon Dust", let me know what you think.


	7. Smoldering Embers

Smoldering Embers

He pulled silently into the driveway and killed the engine of the car. He looked at the house and saw that the lights were off. He replayed his life in his head trying to find just where it had slipped off the track, just when he had taken the step that led to him sitting in his car looking at his dark house at two-thirty in the morning with the scent of sex and another woman's perfume all over him. This wasn't how he intended his life to go.

'Did I ever really love her as strongly as I thought I did?' he wondered to himself, 'or was she just the prize for the runner up, the parting gift for the person who didn't solve any of the puzzles, The "Rice-a-Roni, the San Francisco treat" for lovers.'

He finally pulled the keys out of the ignition and got out of the car. He closed the door quietly and began to walk toward the front door. His shoes crunched on the gravel of the drive, sounding to him like broken glass being walked over. 'How appropriate a sound is that, you cheating piece of shit,' he raged at himself in his mind. She hadn't done anything to deserve the shitty way he was doing her, that was what made it so much worse. At least if she were a shrew he could console himself that he had some small right to cheat on her, but she was sweet and kind and loving and above all, trusting. 'There's a special place in hell waiting for me, a dark heated corner where I would be forced to watch the pain I caused her over and over again for eternity.'

He put the key in the door and unlocked it quietly and walked in on tiptoes. He shut the door and locked it before turning around and that was when he saw the glowing red cherry of the cigarette. It was at mid level of the rocking chair and it moved up about and suddenly glowed bright red, casting an almost demonic glow over the tear stained face and swollen eyes of his wife. In the few seconds that she inhaled all the pain and hurt radiated from her face and he could feel that place in hell being readied for him.

"Your late," she whispered, "why?"

"I told you I had to work late," even as he said it he could feel how lame it was.

Her face glowed red again as she inhaled again, speaking as she blew out smoke of her nose and mouth, "Brad called me, it seems Sam and I were going to go out and hang for awhile tonight, but I didn't get that message, why?" the last question sounded like it came from a child that had just found out that their beloved pet had died, and he felt that place in hell calling his name.

"I don't know," it was as truthful as he could be or had ever been with her as of late.

"All I want, NEED TO KNOW is why?" it wasn't a demand as much as it was a plea, like a drowning person asking for a lifesaver, and for the life of him he had none to give her.

"It just happened," even he couldn't help but see how stupid it was and sounded, "I mean we were working and we fell into the old routine and somewhere along the way the past came back and bit us in the ass. I never set out for this to happen, but in truth I also didn't do anything to stop it either. I honestly thought I was over her, I mean we've all four been friends for years, hell I was Brad's best man, but as we worked together and spent more and more time together, I don't know, I could see it happening almost like a third party watching it, but I couldn't… no that's not true…I wouldn't stop it from happening."

The cherry glowed bright red again and the pain that it illuminated on her face brought the shame front and center in his mind. 'When did I become this monster, this perfect ass who casually tosses the emotions of others around like so much trash, with no regard for what it did to them?' That place in hell was getting closer all the time.

"How long?" it was such a sad almost pitiful question, one he knew that would cut her so deeply, but he owed her the truth.

"Four months," he added nothing else to that, nothing was needed.

"Do you love her?"

And there it was, the question that bought him the express ticket to hell, the question he had hoped she wouldn't ask, but knew she would.

'Time to pay the piper boy, your boat across the river Styx is waiting for you,' he thought. He sighed and once again couldn't find anything to add so he just said it, "Yes, I do."

The cherry glowed yet again and the tears and grief etched on her face that it cast its red tint on hit him as surely as a thundering right to the pit of him stomach.

"Well then, I guess that's about all there is," she sounded tired and defeated; "You can pack your things tonight and sleep in the guest room. Tomorrow you need to find some place to stay. I'll keep the house, I think I deserve that much. I just have to know, for me, did I do something to push you into this?"

"God no Carly, you never did anything wrong," the guilt and shame crashed down on him like a hammer hitting a nail, "I'm the one who was at fault," he wanted to say more, something to give it a gentle spin and then thought of how damned silly that was and said nothing.

He walked up stairs, leaving her in the rocker. As she rocked back and forth, the red glow of the cigarette lit her face and gave her tears the look of lava rolling down her face. The sobs were quiet and the only sound was the creaking of the rocking chair.

.

.

I know this one is a little dark, but it's what I always thought must have happened between my mother and dad.


End file.
